Better late than never

So, sometimes being a writer who isn't...um...quite so young is sort of depressing. Seems like there is always some wonder kid writing novels at 12 and going on to great fame and fortune. Not that I begrudge the kids, but yeesh. What about us old farts? I'm too old to be a rising star, but still young enough to have aspirations.

Is there an expiration date for success? Did I miss my chance to have a career as a writer? Am I stuck forever being a lawyer? Maybe not. Did you know that Andrea Bocelli was a lawyer? He didn't get a break as a singer until his mid-thirties. Julia Child didn't go to cooking school until the age of 36. Colonel Sanders opened a chicken franchise at the age of 65.

There's more. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her "Little House" books when she was in her 60's. Frank McCourt won the Pulizer for his first novel at the age of 66. Richard Adams wrote Watership Down, my favoritest novel ever, when he was 51. Raymond Chandler published his first short story at 45. Wallace Stevens wasn't published until his late 30's and his best stuff came in his 50's. Charles Bukowski published his first novel at 49.

I could keep going, but just that small list is reassuring. For every Christopher Paolini, there is a Grandma Moses. Heck, I'm not Grandma Moses old.  I'm just Raymond Chandler old and that ain't old at all. I have plenty of time left to write all those books eating my brain.

Don't we all feel better now?

PSA: A danger every cat owner should know about

So, this is your toilet paper.

This is your toilet paper on kittens.

Any Questions?

Sara (the paw sneaking under the door in the picture) has an obsession with shredding things. What you see here are the lone survivors of a six pack left unattended while unloading groceries. Remember that she did this through the plastic, y'all. And she wasn't happy I took the toy away from her.

She worked at getting paper back until...

I broke her heart when I took it away again, moving it farther from the door.

She has plotted her revenge ever since. Any TP left unguarded is fair game. Bathroom doors stay shut at my house. Any slight carelessness and the results look like this.

Kittens might look cute and stuff, but how many innocent rolls of paper must die before we take this scourge seriously? You have been warned.

Why Basement Cat is a Pastry Thief

So, I have my own personal Basement Cat. His name is Pyewacket. Let's all admire his cuteness. Tell me, does this look like the face of evil? True, he's napping. Hey, stealing souls is hard work, but still...I'll let you decide.

Very innocent, right? Couldn't be evil. Now here he is rolling around on the floor.

Still, not evil. But in truth, this is the face of a thief. He steals many things besides souls. He takes your seat if you get up. He takes your roll of toilet paper if you don't close the bathroom door. Worst of all, he steals your pastries.

From his point of view, this is totally reasonable. A recently vacated seat is warm. Mmmm. Warm. Toilet paper makes an awesome toy. Why else would you be selfish and keep it all locked away in the bathroom. You hang it up off the ground like it's something special and oh, it is special. Yes, it is. It's the most fun, shreddable toy evah! And pastry? So, most cats like meat and cheese. Basement Cat likes those too, but nothing compares with sugary goodness. Donuts? Cupcakes? What's not to like? Once again, you are are selfish not to share your baked goods with Basement Cat. Of course they aren't good for him. They aren't good for you either, buddy boy. If you would just share, he wouldn't be forced to steal, but you deny him, taunt him by eating things in front of him. Can he help it if you leave tempting treats within paws reach? You made him a thief.

See? Totally reasonable from his point of view. Who could hate a little Basement Kitty just trying to get stuff for himself?

This is why Basement Cat makes the perfect villain.

He isn't evil and doesn't have crazy plans for world domination. To him, his actions seem logical, necessary. He wants things which have been denied him and will employ any means necessary to achieve them. Valuable insight for authors there.

What can we take and use in our writing? Treat your villain/antagonist just as you treat your hero/heroine/main characters. He's real. He lives, loves, cries, hurts. He wants stuff. What does your villain want? What will he do to acheive it? How does he see himself? I guarantee that no one is the villain of their own story. He may do things he know are wrong because the end justifies the means. He may not think there is anything wrong with his actions.

Villains don't exist in a vacuum. Real people are complex beings. They have lives outside the obvious. If your villain's sole purpose in life is to destroy your hero, you had better give me a damn compelling reason for it or I shall mock you severely and with extreme prejudice.  Real life villains have hobbies. Adolf Hitler was an artist. He was also fascinated with the occult. He was devoted to his lady love. After WWI, Germany was in a severe financial depression. They had lost large portions of territory including some very valuable ones. They were getting kicked around politically. Hitler was going to do something about that. Millions died.  It isn't enough just to say that your villain is a pastry theif who wants to rule the world. Show the reader why.

So, that's what I'm looking for in a good villain. Literature and yes, okay, movies and TV are full of some darn compelling villains as well as some, um, not so compelling. Personally, I'm a Darth Vader gal. The whole Star Wars series couldn't exist without him. Really, it's his story, starting with Anakin as a nine year old slave, tracing his rise to power and fame as a jedi, his seduction to the dark side and ending with his death at the hands of his own son. Now that's a villain, y'all.

So tell me who is your favorite villain and why. I just love a good villain story.

Justin Bieber Makes Me Funny

So, it's a common topic on the writing sites I frequent (like Absolute Write. If you aren't there yet, you should be and what is wrong with you?). Everyone wants to know if you (a) listen to music while you write and if so (b) what kind of music.

People fall into two camps on the music. Some can't imagine writing without a soundtrack and others find it distracting, would rather take hot pins into the eyes. Okay, that last is an exaggeration, but some really dislike music when trying to bleed words on a page. I like music.

Now of those who like music, some find that music with vocals and lyrics are distracting. No words must interfere with the words of the voices in their  head. I get this. I'm just not that way. I like people singing to me when I write, it's like my own personal cheering section. But I have a confession, something only those nearest and dearest to me know. I like bad music.

Not just bad music, but I love cheesy, fun pop music. You can keep your meaningful social commentary. For me, writing humorous Regency romances is all about the mood. I write best when I'm feeling chipper, a bit silly, when I'm laughing and bopping and singing along to Kei$ha or Justin Bieber or Usher. Even worse, my characters have theme songs.

Theme songs for my characters makes them real to me, makes me think about them in new ways. I find it terrifically motivating. In fact, if I'm driving in the car and a character's theme song comes on the radio, I start thinking about the character, hearing their voice. It's like a Pavlovian response. I'm primed and ready to write upon hearing that song.

So what sort of songs do I choose as character theme songs? Not great, classics. Nope. Oh, some of them are good songs and I like ALL of them, because I just do, but you can't trust my taste in music. I embarass my children, niether of whom would be caught dead listening to Britney Spears or Justin Bieber.

For Compromising Prudence, Pru's theme was "Girls Just Want to have Fun." Becoming Mr. Brooking, Edwina and Graham's song was Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." Tres romantique, non? But I listened to a lot of Justin Timberlake when writing that book. Like, way too much JT for my mental health. Graham's personal theme was "Rock Your Body." He's such a bad boy. For Death by Scandal, Lady Calandra's song was Christina Peri's "Bang, Bang, Bang."

And now I'm working on book 4 in the Mad Hatterly series. I'm pleased to announce (drum roll) that the book has been contracted and will be released by Musa Publishing October 15th. Yay! This time it's Henry's story. What sort of woman would be a match for the most free-spirited of the Mad Hatterlys? Why, the most buttoned-down, proper woman imaginable. You will remember her from Civilizing Frances. Book 4 will be Rescuing Lady Rose. Yes, that Lady Rose. I'll just pause a moment and let that sink in. Better now?

Turns out that Rose isn't quite so straight-laced as she appears and Henry isn't quite so feckless. He isn't the only man after Rose in this novel. To give you just a hint, Rose's theme is Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)." Henry's song is Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend." You knew I would get back to Bieber, right?

So, there it is. I like music with no value in it except as my entertainment. How about you? What sort of music gets you going? Are you a hipster, listening to stuff I never heard of or a classicist or a soulful blues type? Or do you like cheesy pop as much as I do? You can tell me.  I promise not to judge.



Chicken Run

So, everyone knows how the weather has been in Texas lately. Tornados, more tornados and a side order of tornados. Yeah. We have a new storm system bearing down on us. You can feel it in the air. Tonight, the winds picked up to crazy levels while I was putting the animals up for the evening. If you've ever dealt with animals before a storm, you know it can make them a little wild. All the critters were silly. The donkeys escaped and I had to chase them down. The goats all kept trying to go into each others' pens.

But the winner was Blackberry, one of my chickens. The chickens were having a grand old time. The wind blew leaves down into their run as they ran around snarfing up the bounty. I have the same routine every night. The girls know this. When I enter their run, they all come over to see if I have any treats. I never have treats at this time, but a chicken has to have hope, right? So, once they realize I don't have treats, they let me herd them into the coop for the night.

Mostly they co-operate, but occasionally one will do a runner. Well, I almost had everyone up when suddenly--the wind dropped a little branch covered with leaves into the pen. Blackberry was the early bird and nabbed the nummy branch. She had a dilemma. She couldn't take her nummy into the coop or she would have to share. Someone might steal it from her. So she ran.

I spotted her turn tail and hide under a picnic bench in the run. I put everyone else up and went after her. Twice I had her at the door when she ducked out and ran off again. Herding her wasn't going to work. I had to catch her. How hard can it be to catch one little black chicken in a closed run? Cue Benny Hill chase music.

Blackberry is no naive pullet. She's one of my OGC (Original Gansta Chickens, y'all) and she is too darn smart. I chased that darn chicken all over before cornering her. When I picked her up, she dropped the treat rather than take it in the coop with her. I bet she remembers it in the morning. She's probably planning to race out and grab it before anyone else.

Clever girl.

Dear Fellow Romance Writers...



...please stop telling me that your heros smell of "maleness" or smell "like a man". I live with a husband and sons. To me, "maleness" smells like stinky gym clothes and old tennis shoes.  You're killing my fantasy.


Thanks so much

We have winners!



So, for this contest I went with the totally scientific method of choosing winners. I put the names in a hat and let my kid pick.

Winners of the book of their choice: Anne, and Judith. Ladies, you can choose any book from the right side of this page. Just tell me your choice and your preferred format and *poof* it shall appear like Christmas magic.

Winners of the $20 Musa Gift Cards: JuneM and Eva's Flowers. Enjoy shopping at Musa Publishing.

I will be emailing the winners. Hope everyone won lots of loot to stuff their stockings. Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone.