10 Questions for Grace Wen

Welcome to a new feature on Marguerite Says. Mondays are now "Musaling Mondays." I will open up my blog to fellow Musa authors. Here's how it will work. Each month will feature a list of 10 questions.  The victims, I mean, my guests all get the questions at the same time--so no one knows what is coming. These probably won't be your normal interview questions. This month I'm all about the zombies. The first brave Musaling is my good friend Grace Wen. Grace writes fantastic women's fiction and has been a long time crit partner and beta reader.

1.      First the easy one. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

This is actually the hardest question! Don't you hate it when you get this question in a job interview? Ah heck, I'll just crib from my author bio: I write women's fiction and romance because I find people fascinating. I love toask my characters nosy questions to avoid being a real-life busybody. My stories have appeared in TrueConfessions, True Love, and True Romance magazines. My debutwomen's fiction novella, AN IMPERFECT WIFE, snagged the runner-up spot for Love Romances Cafe's 2011 BestContemporary Book. I live insoutheastern Michigan with two neurotic but cute cats. When I'm not writing, I'm usually reading, playing drums (rarely these days, unfortunately), cooking, or training for my next halfmarathon.

2.      We all know the Zombie Apocalypse is coming. What five personal skills will help you survive?

- Running. I don't have to be the fastest runner. I just have to be faster than someone else.

- Biking. See above, with more speed.

- Pyromaniac tendencies. I love making fires and playing with them. It's a very handy skill, especially when paired with Molotov cocktails to hurl at the zombies.

- Cooking. If we're all going to be hunkered down in a shelter, someone has to cook.

- Easy to get along with. There's safety in numbers, and I'm the perfect human army member. I follow instructions, keep things neat, smile a lot, don't argue, and don't snore.

3.      What sort of cake are you? Why? Do you have the recipe? Yes, question three is three questions. It’s a paradox. Just answer. Don’t judge.

Banana nut cake with cream cheese frosting because I'm bananas, nutty, and cheesy. ;) I know, bad joke. Here's a link to a recipe (I haven't made them yet because I don't bake as much as I used to). Bad news: the recipe includes the nutritional information, but if you close your right eye, you should be able to avoid it.

4.      Pimp it if you’ve got it! What is new and what is next for you as a writer?

My latest release, NEVER LET GO, came out April 13. It's about a woman who has trouble letting go of her ex-boyfriend and resorts to stalking to try to win him back. If you enjoy angsty women's fiction, this novella would make a nice, quick summer read. You'll likely say, "Oh no she didn't!" at least once. (interviewer's note: I think I said it twice!)

5      Can I borrow five bucks?

Sure!

6.      If I gave you five bucks, what ridiculous thing would you spend it on?

A jumbo bag of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms.

7.      What is one book you never get tired of reading?

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. Relationship train wreck plus subtle snark? Sign me up! I read this book every year and love it each time.

8.      Okay, imagine you are trapped in your house during the Zombie Apocalypse. Pushing this button will save you and everyone on your street.

Do you live or die?

Sorry, folks, we're dead. True story -- when I was a kid, my parents got me a children's encyclopedia set. The "I" volume was pristine because I avoided the insect pictures. I know, spiders are arachnids and not insects, but they're all creepy, crawly, ugly creatures with exoskeletons and lots of legs. :shudders:

9.      What are some of the things on your bucket list?

To be honest, I've never kept a bucket list even though I'm very goal-oriented. My current big goal (which will take quite some time): become famous enough to either play Not My Job on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me or play drums for Rock Bottom Remainders. I'll take either one. Or both. Both would be sweet.

10.      Truth or dare?

Truth. I'm too old to feel shame anymore.

Okay. Truth: What's the worst rejection you ever received.

Most memorable rejection: on a cookbook proposal I co-authored with a chef, the editor said, "We like the concept, we like the proposal, we like the writing, but we don't like the author. She's an unknown. Get someone else." I know everyone says rejection isn't personal, but guess what? This one was! I switched to fiction writing soon after that.

Whoa! Harsh one, Grace. Let's give her a big hand for being such a good sport. You can find out more about Grace at her blog, That's All She Wrote. You can buy Grace's books everywhere fine ebooks are sold, including the Musa Publishing store, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, All Romance ebooks, and Smashwords.

Better late than never

So, sometimes being a writer who isn't...um...quite so young is sort of depressing. Seems like there is always some wonder kid writing novels at 12 and going on to great fame and fortune. Not that I begrudge the kids, but yeesh. What about us old farts? I'm too old to be a rising star, but still young enough to have aspirations.

Is there an expiration date for success? Did I miss my chance to have a career as a writer? Am I stuck forever being a lawyer? Maybe not. Did you know that Andrea Bocelli was a lawyer? He didn't get a break as a singer until his mid-thirties. Julia Child didn't go to cooking school until the age of 36. Colonel Sanders opened a chicken franchise at the age of 65.

There's more. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her "Little House" books when she was in her 60's. Frank McCourt won the Pulizer for his first novel at the age of 66. Richard Adams wrote Watership Down, my favoritest novel ever, when he was 51. Raymond Chandler published his first short story at 45. Wallace Stevens wasn't published until his late 30's and his best stuff came in his 50's. Charles Bukowski published his first novel at 49.

I could keep going, but just that small list is reassuring. For every Christopher Paolini, there is a Grandma Moses. Heck, I'm not Grandma Moses old.  I'm just Raymond Chandler old and that ain't old at all. I have plenty of time left to write all those books eating my brain.

Don't we all feel better now?

PSA: A danger every cat owner should know about

So, this is your toilet paper.

This is your toilet paper on kittens.

Any Questions?

Sara (the paw sneaking under the door in the picture) has an obsession with shredding things. What you see here are the lone survivors of a six pack left unattended while unloading groceries. Remember that she did this through the plastic, y'all. And she wasn't happy I took the toy away from her.

She worked at getting paper back until...

I broke her heart when I took it away again, moving it farther from the door.

She has plotted her revenge ever since. Any TP left unguarded is fair game. Bathroom doors stay shut at my house. Any slight carelessness and the results look like this.

Kittens might look cute and stuff, but how many innocent rolls of paper must die before we take this scourge seriously? You have been warned.

Why Basement Cat is a Pastry Thief

So, I have my own personal Basement Cat. His name is Pyewacket. Let's all admire his cuteness. Tell me, does this look like the face of evil? True, he's napping. Hey, stealing souls is hard work, but still...I'll let you decide.

Very innocent, right? Couldn't be evil. Now here he is rolling around on the floor.

Still, not evil. But in truth, this is the face of a thief. He steals many things besides souls. He takes your seat if you get up. He takes your roll of toilet paper if you don't close the bathroom door. Worst of all, he steals your pastries.

From his point of view, this is totally reasonable. A recently vacated seat is warm. Mmmm. Warm. Toilet paper makes an awesome toy. Why else would you be selfish and keep it all locked away in the bathroom. You hang it up off the ground like it's something special and oh, it is special. Yes, it is. It's the most fun, shreddable toy evah! And pastry? So, most cats like meat and cheese. Basement Cat likes those too, but nothing compares with sugary goodness. Donuts? Cupcakes? What's not to like? Once again, you are are selfish not to share your baked goods with Basement Cat. Of course they aren't good for him. They aren't good for you either, buddy boy. If you would just share, he wouldn't be forced to steal, but you deny him, taunt him by eating things in front of him. Can he help it if you leave tempting treats within paws reach? You made him a thief.

See? Totally reasonable from his point of view. Who could hate a little Basement Kitty just trying to get stuff for himself?

This is why Basement Cat makes the perfect villain.

He isn't evil and doesn't have crazy plans for world domination. To him, his actions seem logical, necessary. He wants things which have been denied him and will employ any means necessary to achieve them. Valuable insight for authors there.

What can we take and use in our writing? Treat your villain/antagonist just as you treat your hero/heroine/main characters. He's real. He lives, loves, cries, hurts. He wants stuff. What does your villain want? What will he do to acheive it? How does he see himself? I guarantee that no one is the villain of their own story. He may do things he know are wrong because the end justifies the means. He may not think there is anything wrong with his actions.

Villains don't exist in a vacuum. Real people are complex beings. They have lives outside the obvious. If your villain's sole purpose in life is to destroy your hero, you had better give me a damn compelling reason for it or I shall mock you severely and with extreme prejudice.  Real life villains have hobbies. Adolf Hitler was an artist. He was also fascinated with the occult. He was devoted to his lady love. After WWI, Germany was in a severe financial depression. They had lost large portions of territory including some very valuable ones. They were getting kicked around politically. Hitler was going to do something about that. Millions died.  It isn't enough just to say that your villain is a pastry theif who wants to rule the world. Show the reader why.

So, that's what I'm looking for in a good villain. Literature and yes, okay, movies and TV are full of some darn compelling villains as well as some, um, not so compelling. Personally, I'm a Darth Vader gal. The whole Star Wars series couldn't exist without him. Really, it's his story, starting with Anakin as a nine year old slave, tracing his rise to power and fame as a jedi, his seduction to the dark side and ending with his death at the hands of his own son. Now that's a villain, y'all.

So tell me who is your favorite villain and why. I just love a good villain story.

Justin Bieber Makes Me Funny

So, it's a common topic on the writing sites I frequent (like Absolute Write. If you aren't there yet, you should be and what is wrong with you?). Everyone wants to know if you (a) listen to music while you write and if so (b) what kind of music.

People fall into two camps on the music. Some can't imagine writing without a soundtrack and others find it distracting, would rather take hot pins into the eyes. Okay, that last is an exaggeration, but some really dislike music when trying to bleed words on a page. I like music.

Now of those who like music, some find that music with vocals and lyrics are distracting. No words must interfere with the words of the voices in their  head. I get this. I'm just not that way. I like people singing to me when I write, it's like my own personal cheering section. But I have a confession, something only those nearest and dearest to me know. I like bad music.

Not just bad music, but I love cheesy, fun pop music. You can keep your meaningful social commentary. For me, writing humorous Regency romances is all about the mood. I write best when I'm feeling chipper, a bit silly, when I'm laughing and bopping and singing along to Kei$ha or Justin Bieber or Usher. Even worse, my characters have theme songs.

Theme songs for my characters makes them real to me, makes me think about them in new ways. I find it terrifically motivating. In fact, if I'm driving in the car and a character's theme song comes on the radio, I start thinking about the character, hearing their voice. It's like a Pavlovian response. I'm primed and ready to write upon hearing that song.

So what sort of songs do I choose as character theme songs? Not great, classics. Nope. Oh, some of them are good songs and I like ALL of them, because I just do, but you can't trust my taste in music. I embarass my children, niether of whom would be caught dead listening to Britney Spears or Justin Bieber.

For Compromising Prudence, Pru's theme was "Girls Just Want to have Fun." Becoming Mr. Brooking, Edwina and Graham's song was Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." Tres romantique, non? But I listened to a lot of Justin Timberlake when writing that book. Like, way too much JT for my mental health. Graham's personal theme was "Rock Your Body." He's such a bad boy. For Death by Scandal, Lady Calandra's song was Christina Peri's "Bang, Bang, Bang."

And now I'm working on book 4 in the Mad Hatterly series. I'm pleased to announce (drum roll) that the book has been contracted and will be released by Musa Publishing October 15th. Yay! This time it's Henry's story. What sort of woman would be a match for the most free-spirited of the Mad Hatterlys? Why, the most buttoned-down, proper woman imaginable. You will remember her from Civilizing Frances. Book 4 will be Rescuing Lady Rose. Yes, that Lady Rose. I'll just pause a moment and let that sink in. Better now?

Turns out that Rose isn't quite so straight-laced as she appears and Henry isn't quite so feckless. He isn't the only man after Rose in this novel. To give you just a hint, Rose's theme is Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)." Henry's song is Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend." You knew I would get back to Bieber, right?

So, there it is. I like music with no value in it except as my entertainment. How about you? What sort of music gets you going? Are you a hipster, listening to stuff I never heard of or a classicist or a soulful blues type? Or do you like cheesy pop as much as I do? You can tell me.  I promise not to judge.



Chicken Run

So, everyone knows how the weather has been in Texas lately. Tornados, more tornados and a side order of tornados. Yeah. We have a new storm system bearing down on us. You can feel it in the air. Tonight, the winds picked up to crazy levels while I was putting the animals up for the evening. If you've ever dealt with animals before a storm, you know it can make them a little wild. All the critters were silly. The donkeys escaped and I had to chase them down. The goats all kept trying to go into each others' pens.

But the winner was Blackberry, one of my chickens. The chickens were having a grand old time. The wind blew leaves down into their run as they ran around snarfing up the bounty. I have the same routine every night. The girls know this. When I enter their run, they all come over to see if I have any treats. I never have treats at this time, but a chicken has to have hope, right? So, once they realize I don't have treats, they let me herd them into the coop for the night.

Mostly they co-operate, but occasionally one will do a runner. Well, I almost had everyone up when suddenly--the wind dropped a little branch covered with leaves into the pen. Blackberry was the early bird and nabbed the nummy branch. She had a dilemma. She couldn't take her nummy into the coop or she would have to share. Someone might steal it from her. So she ran.

I spotted her turn tail and hide under a picnic bench in the run. I put everyone else up and went after her. Twice I had her at the door when she ducked out and ran off again. Herding her wasn't going to work. I had to catch her. How hard can it be to catch one little black chicken in a closed run? Cue Benny Hill chase music.

Blackberry is no naive pullet. She's one of my OGC (Original Gansta Chickens, y'all) and she is too darn smart. I chased that darn chicken all over before cornering her. When I picked her up, she dropped the treat rather than take it in the coop with her. I bet she remembers it in the morning. She's probably planning to race out and grab it before anyone else.

Clever girl.

Dear Fellow Romance Writers...



...please stop telling me that your heros smell of "maleness" or smell "like a man". I live with a husband and sons. To me, "maleness" smells like stinky gym clothes and old tennis shoes.  You're killing my fantasy.


Thanks so much